Learning From Rejection
"We regret to inform you"
By Khaya Mxenge
Khaya Mxenge shares her journey of applying for WomEng Southern Africa Fellowship and lessons from rejection.
"We regret to inform you"
Nothing hurts quite like receiving an email with that line. In my short life, I have applied for countless opportunities (vacation work, leadership programmes, scholarships and even international colleges). I often received this emailed response; sometimes no email at all but the equally disappointing "if you do not hear from us assume you were not selected". It's hard going through rejection and even more difficult talking about it. Even writing this piece was difficult and vulnerable but this is what I have learnt: Life happens, and sometimes you don't get the opportunities that you hoped and dreamt about. That doesn't mean that you should let it define you or stop you from trying to reach for new opportunities again.
In 2019 I had applied for the WomEng Fellowship programme and received an email of regret.
I was disappointed. I knew I was a worthy candidate. I felt I had put so much effort into the application; representing myself in the best way I could. I had to accept that this experience did not define my worth. I continued to show up in my work at Engineers Without Borders and my academics.
The next year, in the midst of lockdown, there was an opportunity to apply to the WomEng Southern Africa Fellowship 2020 programme. I had been nominated by a previous Fellow who saw me 'showing up' in my community. It was affirmation that I was deserving of being part of the programme and I did not want to let the previous disappointing experience define me - so I went for it.
After submitting a (very) carefully crafted application, I was accepted into the programme. I was incredibly proud of myself.
I had gained invaluable experience through the rejection, learning how to build better application responses that stood out and it only helped for the better.
Had I not applied out of fear or embarrassment, I wouldn't have had the invaluable opportunity of being a part of the WomEng Southern Africa Fellowship 2020 which was now an online programme over 8 months rather than a single week in-person as it would have been pre-pandemic.
The WomEng Southern Africa Fellowship 2020 programme was such an amazing journey for me. The virtual WomEng master classes became things to look forward to in my monotonous lockdown weeks. I have been able to do great self-reflection and grow immensely thanks to the long programme.
It feels like this was exactly what I needed for this period of my life; in my transition from engineering student to working professional. I have built my self-confidence, practised innovation and entrepreneurial skills and grown my network.
As disappointing as the experience of rejection was, I do not regret trying. It taught me to be resilient because failure will happen time and time again. Had I not applied for the WomEng programme a second time, I would not have experienced the WomEng programme in this new form.
So I will continue to try new things and reach for more opportunities knowing the high possibility of failure but also the tremendous growth that comes along with that.
"I love my rejection slips. They show me I try" - Sylvia Plath
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WomEng Southern Africa Fellowship Alumni | Automation Engineering Intern | UCT Mechatronics Engineering Graduate
